Initiate
by Obvious Ghost
Summary: A demon gives a boy a nightmare. Or... maybe he doesn't. There's more than one way to prey on the mind, after all.


A tribute to the most ambitious fan theory I've run across so far.

[]

"Mabel?"

He wasn't himself.

"C'mon, Mabel- wake up."

Dipper never had trouble sleeping. Late nights and early mornings were caused by obsessive reading and sisterly shenanigans, respectively- the newest mystery novels and Mabel's patented water-balloon wake-up pranks occasionally left him more drowsy than usual, but it was nothing he couldn't handle.

"Mabel, please, just... wake up already."

He also never woke up his sister in the middle of the night.

She slowly opened her eyes, then blinked a few times as she sat up. "Hngg... Bro? What's-" A yawn interrupted her question. "What's up?"

It took Dipper a second to realize that his hand was still on her shoulder. Mabel gave a sleepy frown, and he thought it was due to the unusual contact.

"Uh, your hand's kinda shakin' like crazy over here."

Immediately, he yanked his arm back as if it was on fire. "Sorry," he said quickly. "Sorry, I- sorry." His thoughts were frantic and scrambled, but he somehow couldn't latch onto any one of them, much less come up with a coherent response.

His sister was giving him a more confused look now, head cocked to the side with one eye closed. "Somethin' wrong, Dip?"

"Yeah." The word rushed out right away. Dipper took a few steps back, then sat down on his own bed. "Or... I don't know. Maybe not."

Mabel frowned again. "Huh. That's awful _misterioso_."

"I, um-" Mind racing, he tried to concentrate on the details of the room around him. The dim light he'd switched on a few minutes ago. The clicks and chirps of a few bugs near the window. The warm summer air, slightly cooler whenever a breeze drifted through the open window.

It didn't work. "...Yeah," he finished weakly. He leaned forward, letting his head fall into his hands.

Mabel snorted. "Uh, okay. How about you try again? Maybe in a way that doesn't, I dunno, make no sense at all."

He couldn't think straight. It was there, in his mind, he could _see_ it- but somehow, he couldn't put the words together to explain. He gritted his teeth, pushing his palms against the sides of his head.

"Hey." Mabel's voice sounded gentler than before, and when he looked up, he saw her stand up with a look of concern. "What's wrong? I don't really get what's going on in your brain a lot, but this is still pretty weird."

He couldn't talk to her. He couldn't go back to sleep. He couldn't sit still. The thoughts pushed together, firing in different directions and for a sudden instant, he wished he could just float away. Away from this entire night, and the questions, and everything that he couldn't understand.

Mabel hopped onto the bed next to him, dangling her legs over the edge. "Dipper. Yo. Aloha." She poked his shoulder. "What's the deal? This isn't really like you."

_That's because I'm terrified. And exhausted. And I don't know what's happening._

Still facing forward, Dipper took a deep breath. "I, uh... I just had a nightmare."

Mabel didn't say anything.

He bowed his head. "I guess it's no big-" His voice broke on the word 'deal', and he winced before letting the sentence fade into nothing.

A nudge made him sit up a little straighter. "I wouldn't say that," Mabel said with another yawn. Casually, she leaned back and rested her elbows on the pillow behind her. "Nightmares are serious biz, you know. That's never fun."

He crossed his arms, noticing that the trembling had mostly stopped. "Regular dreams for me," his sister continued. "I was trying on a whole buncha different hats. Except each one had a different animal in it, and whichever one I chose would be my best friend and I think we were gonna go on a quest to save the world? But the main point was hats. You even showed up and tried some. You ever think about wearing a different hat?"

She was... rambling. Dipper threw his sister a glance, and she just grinned. "I can keep going. On and on, until you start talking. They were pretty detailed hats."

There was a moment of panic- the worry came back, and the refusal to say another word, and he felt like...

No. It didn't matter what he felt, or even what he thought. Dipper pushed it all away, just for a second. Enough to say it.

"Bill."

The smile vanished from Mabel's face, and she scooted closer. "Wait, what? For real?"

He nodded. "I don't know what he wants. I- I think he was showing me visions, and-" His thoughts were falling apart again. Staring up at the ceiling, he wondered if his eyes stung because he was so tired, or because he was crying.

"Listen." Mabel put her arm around his shoulders. "He's just messing with your head, bro. If you..." She paused, thinking. "If no one summoned him, he can't hurt you, right?"

"I don't know." His eyes became unfocused as he slipped back into his thoughts. "I mean, he could be getting stronger. Or maybe I did something- if I failed somehow, or there's something I overlooked-"

Clearly worried, Mabel tried to cut him off. "Dip-"

"No, it shouldn't have happened, he shouldn't have been able to break in-"

"Dipper!" Almost yelling, she moved to face him fully, and he was shocked by the worry and fear in her expression. "Look, just... calm down, alright? Try to do normal stuff for a while. Breathe a lot. Junk like that."

"Mabel, he-" His voice caught. "He knows my name. My real name."

He'd said it on a whim, and as soon as the words left his mouth, Dipper was afraid that the statement would make her even more afraid. However, Mabel just gave him a blank look. "Huh? Your name? What does that have to do with anything?"

She hadn't made the connection yet. Dipper felt like his stomach was sinking into his feet as he turned away. "I guess I don't know. It's just... if he can find out information like that, what's safe from him?"

It was hard to ignore the distinct feeling that he was lying.

Mabel poked him again. "Hey. Come on." When he looked back, she took the opportunity to launch into a hug. "Sorry everything's so stupid right now, bro."

The sentiment was enough to make him smile. "Thanks, Mabel."

"And sorry I don't have a rad idea to fix it." She let go, moving back so they were sitting side-by-side again. "Except maybe we can tackle this tomorrow? Get sleep first, then worry about dream monsters?" A scowl flitted across her face. "Oh, right. Sleep. That's what started this whole mess."

Dipper shook his head. "No, I think you're right. I'll try, at least."

"Sure?" When he nodded, Mabel bit her lip and glanced towards her side of the room. "Well... okay. I dunno how dreams work, but if Bill shows up again, see if you can punch him."

"Heh." He tried to give a tired smile as she climbed back into her own bed. "Night, sis."

A mumbled response was barely audible. Dipper lay down, staring up at the attic's ceiling.

The feeling was back. The whispering, shadowy sensation that he'd lied.

_He was full of energy. _

In truth, the dream hadn't been about Bill at all. Not until the end, anyway.

_Always moving, always studying and working and exploring until his desire for information was satisfied- but it never was._

He never saw him, never felt a chill on his neck that told him the demon was waiting for him to turn around. There were no taunts, no laughing echoes, no whispers of 'Pine Tree' or promises or offers.

_He could see the others growing older, passing him by, losing interest in the world of mysteries and magic and monsters. _

It hadn't seemed strange at the time.

_They didn't understand how important it all was. The drive, the hunger to delve deep into the heart of the secrets and tear away every deception, every hidden shadow and unravel the mystery until the entire world was brought to light. _

Dipper shivered, turning onto his side and bringing his legs up to his chest.

_He was getting restless. Angry. Mabel and the rest were treating him differently, like they couldn't see the signs, couldn't follow the clues-_

He closed his eyes tight.

_Then again, maybe they couldn't. Maybe he shouldn't have been trying to explain it at all. _

The worst part was how... normal it had seemed. Right up until the moment he snapped back into the real world, he never stopped to consider how horrifying the dream was.

_It built up and grew- anger, swirling and evolving, filling him up until he couldn't think straight._

The sudden truth had hit him like a thunderbolt: His mind wasn't his own.

_That's when the book had started talking to him._

Or even worse, maybe it was- maybe deep down, the dream had shown him what he really wanted.

_In a voice like a whispering ghost, it urged him to keep seeking knowledge, no matter the cost. Reminded him of the constant threat of Bill, a specter in the back of his mind, a shadow of worry that goaded him on to greater works, more study, more experimentation, more... magic.  
_

Dipper sat up again, swinging his feet over the side of the bed.

_He fell in deeper. Learning more, asking more, devouring knowledge as fast as he could- the journal was an oracle of supernatural reference, and there was nothing to keep him from becoming proficient in the language of the arcane. _

Silently, he opened the attic door and slipped through. Footsteps gently creaked on the wooden floor of the hall. Then the stairs. The floor again.

_Nothing, that is, except his own family. _

He moved through the various rooms quickly. Even in the dark, finding the ladder was simple- almost unthinking, he scaled the rungs in a measured pace.

_They'd tried to make him stop. They were worried, alarmed by the change in his behavior. But they could never really understand, could they? He was doing something greater than they'd ever dreamed of. It was only natural they would be afraid. _

A nearly imperceptible change in light heralded his arrival onto the rooftop. The stars hung in the dark expanse above him, like cracks in a veil, hiding an impossibly bright light from the rest of the sky.

_Why should he worry about them? Why should he stop?_

Dipper's feet brought him to the edge of the platform.

_He was part of a higher calling, after all. _

The wind tugged and pulled at his clothes, but he didn't move. Looking straight ahead, he breathed deeply.

_He didn't put the pieces together until it was far too late. Bill's strange fascination with him. The fury building up in his heart and mind. The way the demon seemed to push him further along, fueling his ambition without ever granting answers. And, of course, one of the journal's most perplexing entries._

"It won't happen," he said with as much conviction as he could muster. The sound vanished instantly in the night air. "I won't _let_ it happen."

_The possibility of time travel. _

He balled his hand into a fist. "You can't make me do anything. I'm- I'm stronger than you think."

_Knowledge was power, in the most basic sense. The search for one had gradually become an undying lust for the other. Bill, the book, his own mind... it didn't matter where it had started. He was locked in paranoia, craving more and never finding it, flying down a path without an end. _

Nothing answered him but the zephyrs, rustling the leaves and causing the trees to twitch and shift in odd patterns.

_The dream had stretched on for an eternity, years and years passing in the blink of an eye. It hadn't seemed strange. _

He frowned. "Well? Answer me! I know you're out there!"

_Until, suddenly, the years reversed. _

Dipper's yell faded quickly. He spun, as if suspecting something to appear behind him, but the rooftop was empty. "Come on!" he screamed. "Show yourself! I'm right here!"

_He found himself flying high above the town. A vision flaring bright in his mind, of a child who had just arrived in Gravity Falls for the summer. Someone who could be pushed, prodded and coerced onto a path that would bring about his own resurrection. His own birth into the universe._

A chill settled on his neck, and he turned again, too fast- he lost his balance, falling backwards onto the rough terrace.

_An unknowing disciple. _

Once again, there was nothing. Dipper scrambled to his feet. "I won't do it!" he yelled. "I'll make sure it never happens!"

_The world stretching out below him, he struck down with the terror of an inferno and burned a long-forgotten name across the landscape. _

A thought echoed in his mind. He couldn't tell if it was his own voice or not.

BRX GRQ'W KDYH D FKRLFH

...

...

...

**WILLIAM**.


End file.
